Theories relating to networking aka 3b

In order to understand the theories out there that can add value to my professional networking I need to understand them fully.  I will work through them step by step in order to really grasp the concepts.

Cooperation

I understand cooperation within networking to be the decision we make to cooperate or not.  We chose what networks to be a part of and how we cooperate within them.  I have made choices along the way to cooperate in certain networks and shy away from others.  These where personal choices and not necessarily a 'strategy' (1) but maybe it was subconsciously.  It is interesting to look at my networks and work out where my cooperation is at it's highest level.  'We can consider our interactions as random or we can see a pattern manifest within them.' (2)  The networks that I am highly cooperative within are those that make me happy, with people in that appreciate me and therefore help my development.  They are also networks that I am passionate about and I know my struggle to be included within them will be worthwhile.  I do not like to think I operate in networks that are for my benefit but of coarse they are otherwise I would be very unhappy and never achieve my goals.  The game theory is interesting to me in it's simplest form as networking is a game in itself in my eyes.  Experienced networkers are clever, they analyse and use their networks to get maximum personal benefit and development.  I would love to be better at this. The idea that there is a 'strategy' (1) to the results achieved from cooperation is very interesting and one that I would like to try. It would be great to find out the answer to:

'When should a person cooperate, and when should a person be selfish, in an ongoing interaction with another person?' (1)

Axelrod's game of Prisoner's Dilemma held interesting results to me that really opened my eyes to a new theory.

'To my considerable surprise, the winner was the simplest of all the programmes submitted, TIT FOR TAT.' (1)

That surprised me to! And it was a nice surprise.  One of the main things that I have learnt about myself during my critical reflection is that I do too much.  I love to achieve and I always look to do more than is asked of me but that is not always a good thing.  Paula Nottingham put an image to me 'It is like me asking you to drive to London and you saying ok and I can drive you to Manchester then I can drive you to Edinburgh.' (3) That is too much and Axelrod again reinforces this within networking - less is more and I need to remember this in my work.  I don't want to cooperate in so many networks that I can not maintain them and build quality development.

'TIT FOR TAT is merely the strategy of starting with cooperation, and thereafter doing what the other player did on the previous move.' (1)

This is so simple and makes so much sense, I have just never seen it this way before.  The idea that you do what those around you are doing in order to win not more or less makes sense to me.  However all the players entered into Prisoner's Dilemma at the same stage and this doesn't happen in life.  In some networks I feel I am an expert and in others I am a novice and therefore I can not follow this 'strategy'. (1)  I can understand that once you are established within a network this could work but how do you get there?

'a member of Congress who does not accomplish anything in interactions with colleagues will not long remain a member of Congress.' (1)

Cooperation leads to success within network.  I need to improve my cooperation and work to really be aware of the other members of the network to perceive how I fit in and work best within it.

Affiliation

I understand affiliation to be our contact with other human beings in our personal and professional networks.  We all crave affiliation it is what gives our lives meaning, but working out how this relates to my professional network is of great interest to me.  Affiliation provides us,

'with a network of support that will help us when we are in need.' (4)

The principle of homeostasis is important to decipher within my practice in order to understand how I feel about affiliation.

'This principle states that our need for affiliation within each one of us may differ, but we each seek to balance our interactions with others to a preferred level.' (5)

When I was younger I really craved affiliation and even now I love meeting new people and creating new relationships.  I know lots of people who have a set of friends and don't want to let any one else in or meet new people.  Maybe they are lucky and have formed amazing affiliations but I believe this attitude shuts out a whole world of opportunity and experiences.  I have learnt that it is hard to find real and true affiliations and it is about finding the ones that work for you and holding on to them when they do arise.  Although I like to build affiliations I also like to stay quite private.  In acknowledging this point I can see how this could be a hindrance one can not work without the other.  Without opening up how can I expect those in my network to open up to me.

'While for particular professions, we might perceive all the barriers to entry into the establishment; it is up to each practitioner to see how to grow their professional networks sideways (to others at an equivalent level) as well as upwards into the established hierarchy.' (6)

This is a answer to the question regarding entry point into a network that I touched on when talking about cooperation.  It is up to me to work out how my networks can grow to get me to the point of equal cooperation and this can relate to affiliations I make along the way.  The concept of moving sideways relates to Simeon Grandjean's idea that our networks are like a game of snakes and ladders.

'If we have too little contact, we feel isolated, but if we have too much contact, we feel crowded.' (4)

This can be directly linked to our affiliation with people in our networks.  It is about finding the balance between these two situations and understanding the level of contact that works for me to get the most out of my networks.  Crisp and Turner go on to say that 'people control their level of contact with others to keep it stable and as close as possible to a desired level.' I do this subconsciously but I did not think about it in relation to my networking practice until I read this information.  I will look further into the desired levels of affiliation that I maintain in order to understand the meaning behind my practises.  In short I know I try and surround myself with positive and passionate people in order to make my world a better place to be.

Social constructionism

'Through our interactions, we can make meanings, which might be the values we attribute to a particular network, our preferred ways of engaging the network or extent to which we are willing to contribute selflessly to the network.' (2)

This statement really stood out to me.  I have always had a desire to make a difference, for me that difference lies in the connections I make with others - affiliation.  This desire is the same as 'makeing meaning' from my work.  I like to think attributes I can make to a network are valued, I prefer to engage in positive and giving networks and give selflessly to those.  I am engaging in social constructionism as I believe we all are.  It is about realising this and the how the decisions we make lead us to find our own meaning and purpose.

'Accepting that the world we experience, prior to our experience of it, is without meaning does not come easy.' (6)

This is an interesting concept and Crotty is right it is not 'easy' to grasp. Of course the world has meaning without us in but it does not have meaning to us until we experience it.  Crotty talks of how we have constructed the world around us and how the associations we make are from perceptions of those that have come before us.  In relation to networks I see this as finding a way of realise that we are in control of our networks and they are not in control of us.  We construct our own meanings from the experiences we have in our interactions with objects and human being.  This is important to remember especially when entering a network as a novice.

Connectivism

This theory was a little overwhelming to approach.  Connectivism has direct relation to the work I am doing right now in being in a learning process and that's why I feel the information is invaluable. 

'Connectivism provides an explanation about how networks both learn and provide the means for individuals to connect and learn.' (2)

I want to know and grasp that explanation in order to add value and understanding to my practice. 

'learning must be a way of being - an ongoing set of attitudes and actions by individuals and groups that they employ to try and keep abreast of the surprising, novel, messy, obtrusive, recurring events.' (7)

I find this statement comforting and it has provided a turning point for me.  Within my networks I think I try and remain in control, conservative and professional at all times.  Although this is obviously important we are all human beings and know that life isn't perfect and is also great fun! in sharing our 'surprising, novel, messy, obtrusive and recurring events' we can only connect deeper with our affiliations than push them away.  I know there is a line that should not be crossed but I do not need to be so closed off in my professional work that I do not indulge in connectivism.

'persisting change in human performance or performance potential must come about as a result of the learner's experience and interaction with the world' (8)

Our networks are our experience and interaction and that is how we learn.  This seems so obvious and simple but it is easy to loose sight of.  I have a tendency to relate to knowledge as a higher power that I am not a part of and that I am struggling to obtain.  In reality my everyday life is my knowledge and it is about taking a step out of it and looking at what I am really learning and how I can develop my practice to learn more.  Connectivism is making things clear for me - I don't want to drive to Edinburgh anymore just London, taking in the sights along the way to enjoy my journey and remember it.

'In a networked world, the very manner of information that we acquire is worth exploring.' (9)

This is important to reinforce in relation to the Internet.  I am one to believe that something is true just because someone more senior tells me it is so.  I believe this to be my judgement when I know the person and see them face to face.  But the Internet is huge and unknown we can not believe everything we read.  It is important to use a critical approach within our web networks in order to maintain our status and understanding.  It is easy to be led off in the wrong direction - it is important to stop and think about the networks we are operating within and making sure they are the right ones to be a part of and find those we are missing out on. 

'Our small world networks are generally populated with people whose interests and knowledge are similar to ours.  Finding a new job, as an example, often occurs though weak ties.  This principle has great merit in the notion of serendipity, innovation and creativity.  Connections between disparate ideas and fields can create new innovations.' (9)

This is a notion that I had never thought about before.  We operate where we feel comfortable, even though we may enter networks as a novice I don't think many of us can say that we have had the 'guts' to embark on a completely unknown network in order to gain knowledge.  I can understand how this would benefit I am a strong believer that we should always open our minds up to new thoughts and ideas.  But how long do we spend exploring other networks when we long to become an experience practitioner within our specialist network? It is definitely something to explore and opens my eyes to the endless networks we can engage in.  Connectivism can always be expanded it never stops otherwise the learning stops and life looses meaning - social constructionism.

As I begin to understand connectivism and it's power the following statements are ones that I will take with me and remember in my professional networking:

'The ability to draw distinctions between important and important information is vital.' (9)

This is a skill I need to build upon in order to continuously move with my learning it may be sideways or even backwards at times but I never want to stuck again like I have done.  Inclusion in my networks will help me build on this.

'While there is a right answer right now, it may be wrong tomorrow due to alterations in the information climate affecting the decision.' (9)

SO important for me to remember! Decisions are not forever and they are constantly changing so don't worry about them so much.  Our networks change and we make certain decisions at certain times for a reason.

'Knowledge that resides in a database needs to be connected with the right people in the right context in order for it to be classified as learning.' (9)

Interesting view for me, I try and gather as much information as possible and while this is important it isn't learning it is just gathering.  In order to learn I need to pick out the right information from my networks - less is more.

Communities of practice

'Learning is the process of engagement in social relationships rather than the process of acquisition of knowledge as an individual.' (2)

I understand the theory of communities of practice to centre around the idea that our knowledge comes from those around us rather than independent study.  This rings true in the simplest sense that even in independent study we are learning from writers that have come before us and got their knowledge from those before them.  As a community we therefore create our own knowledge and it is important to remain active in that otherwise we fall behind.  It is crucial that we ask ourselves the following questions in relation to our networks:

• 'What it is about.
• How it functions.
• What capability it has produced.' (2)

'A community of practice is an intrinsic condition for the existence of knowledge, not least because it provides the interpretive support necessary for making sense of it's heritage.' (10)

This is an important notion for me to take on board.  We all find our place within a network and that is based on observing the current community and where we fit within it. With out this community we do not know where we sit and we rely on the 'heritage' to give our position meaning.

I have learnt a lot from looking outward to networking concepts.  These theories have really inspired me.  They are psychological and relate to human thought and feeling which I have always had great interest in understanding.  I haven taken all these concepts on board and I will work to develop elements that have really stood out to me and I am positive that this will shape me into a confident and resourceful professional networker!

(1) Axelrod, R (1984) pages xi - xiv
(2) Middlesex University Reader 3 The Networked Professional
(3) Conversation with Paula Nottingham
(4) Crisp&Turner, 2007 pp266
(5) O'Connor & Rosenblood 1996
(6) Crotty, M (2005) pages 42-44
(7) Vaill 1996, p.42
(8) Driscoll 2000, p14-17
(9) Siemens, G (2004)
(10) Lave and Wenger 1991 pp. 98-100





 

My current networks aka 3a

Networking was drummed into us at performing arts college as if you had to get yourself an invite to every party, wear your best dress and beg for a job. Of course this approach is unrealistic for any one but the very thought of it makes me nervous and I have never been to good at putting myself out there. I think this concept has meant I have had a negative approach towards networking and I have always associated it with a form of desperation and arrogance. When in reality the definition is: to cultivate people who can be helpful to one professionally, especially in finding employment or moving to a higher position. Why would I not want to improve my networking? Sometimes it's true it's not what you know it's who you know. 

I approached the the next theme - the networked professional by firstly looking at other peoples blogs.  This is pretty apt as the bapp blogs are my newest network and by engaging in my network I am able to move forward with new ideas and insight.  I love Simone Grandjean's idea that our networks are like a game of snakes and ladders, it may be about reaching the top of our game but we can go side to side to find our way and we might slip down the ladder a couple of times in order to get there. http://sgandjean.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/my-networks.html.  I also like Luke Bohanna's idea that our networks can be a universe of planets that are constantly revolving and evolving.  That some of our network planets are closer to us, the sun than others and it is about understanding where to place them. http://lukebohanna.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/task-3a-current-networks.html  In order to understand my own networks I used my knowledge that I think I am a visual learner to create the diagram below.

 

From this I can begin to use the main tools that I already use in my practice.

1. Friends and colleagues

In all areas of my work this is my main network the people around me everyday!  I have met lots of different people through my different career paths and I have learnt something from every single one of them.  It is important to maintain these relationships not only for personally but in my professional practice as well.  By building strong relationship with people I work with in the performing industry they now inform me of when things are casting and auditions are being held as I don't have an agent.  In maintaining a great relationship with employers I have been offered other work - if you don't remind them you are around then you are easily forgotten.  I admire people I know in the performing world who work so hard to make contacts that they never give up, I wish I had this persistence.  They get a number or an email and they won't give up until they get a reply - I might send one or two but then I think well they aren't interested.  It is hard to find the balance between persistence and annoyance but I think I could try harder sometimes.  I don't know if this is true but I heard that Kate Winslet wrote to James Cameron every day until she was seen for Titanic - the rest is history.  I will work to gain contacts in all fields of my work.  In my teaching work I am constantly learning from those around me and assessing how I can improve and better my skills. By maintaining relationships with parents and teachers I have worked with in a school setting I am asked to return and therefore get more work.  I am very new to education recruitment and I am in the process of building the ever so important bonds with my colleagues and soaking up all the information they can give me.  I admire any form of experience and success and no matter how far away my peers maybe I work to maintain relationships I have built as you never know where it may lead.

2. Facebook

Facebook is great for keeping in the loop and knowing what is going on within my direct network and those a little further away.  I am often invited to events by people I have not seen for a very long time that could be great to go along to - I need to make more of this.  It is a great way to keep in touch with people on the other side of the world that I have met.  There is also casting links through facebook and teaching opportunities that arise when people need cover.  There is to much to mention that I get out of facebook.  I like to keep my business quite private and although it is called social networking I really do not like the unsocial element of it. I would rather a friend called me to invite me somewhere or say happy birthday but I am quite old fashioned like that. However I feel I have learnt to turn this social networking site into a professional network as well.  The benefits to my networking are endless through facebook, I just found a new flat mate through facebook - that is actually an old friend.  I am not a member of twitter and this is something I plan to change as if facebook can be beneficial I am sure twitter can do.  My ideal network would include more people who can help me professionally and sites like twitter make every one obtainable with a bit of hard work and persistence.

3. Casting websites

I currently use casting websites spotlight, casting call pro and the stage to find out about castings to apply for.  Even if the work advertised is not suitable it is great to have an idea of what is going on in order to have food for conversation with those in the field.  I think I could make more of myself on these websites.  I admire those who really put their work out there and have the confidence to share their work with others openly.  These are the people who get the work.  I am sometimes afraid of scrutiny but how will people ever know what I have to offer if I do not share it.  I want my network to involve more professionals and only I can do something about that.  I would like to create my own website and also upload my newly put together show reel.  I am always checking websites for the companies I would love to work for to see if there is any casting opportunities.

4.  BAPP blog

My newest network is the bapp blogs.  It is a new way of learning and interacting for me and I often find myself wishing I could meet up or have a phone conversation with my fellow bappers.  I think I can utilise this new network to help me work better.  I have spent hours looking at and reading other people's blogs but rarely comment.  This is something I aim to change as I know how helpful it is when I receive a comment myself.

Just from looking deeper into my existing networks I can see that I primarily associate my networking with the performing element of my career.  Networking exists in all areas of work and I aim to develop this further as I learn new skills. 

Hollie x

Looking outward aka 2c

'Reflection involves taking the unprocessed, raw material of experience and engaging with it as a way to make sense of what has occurred.' (1)

This is a simple but clear way of making sense of reflection and this clarity is what I need to find in my practice.  I engage in reflective practice on a daily basis but I do not feel I always follow through the process of using my thoughts and feelings to analyse how I can make sense of what has happened and in turn act on the conclusions I come to.

Dewey's theory of reflective thought is something ever present in my practice.  I consider myself a very reflective person in general and strongly agree with Dewey in the belief that experience is our education.  I work through my thoughts are feelings with peers as part of my practice but this can sometimes act as a hinderance as I worry about how my peers will perceive me.  I also believe this fear comes from being in the very critical environment of the performing world.  I am used to continually assessing my work but I do not feel this leads to a positive outcome with out really working through my thoughts and feelings and not jumping to conclusions.  Boud refers too these constraints in regards to journal writing for assessment but I feel it can apply to my own processes of sharing reflective thought.

'The exploration of the self that reflection involves requires a relatively protected environment in which one is not continually preoccupied by defending oneself from the scrutiny of others.' (1)

Dewey highlights that it is how we organise our reflective thought on experiences we undertake that helps us move forward and fully engage in the theory of critical reflection.

Reflective thought is 'active, persistent, and careful consideration of any belief or supposed form of knowledge in the light of the grounds that support it and further conclusions to which it tends.' (2)

In my search for the right path to take my thoughts are 'active' (2) and 'persistent' (2) sometimes to the point where there is so many ideas my mind gets blocked and I go into shut down.  Drawing from Dewey's idea I think this may be because I am not engaging in 'careful consideration' (2) and therefore not reaching 'further conclusions' (2).  With out these skills my mind has a tendency to leap forward and make rash decisions and then I struggle with the problem solving element of critical reflection.

Kolb's learning cycle furthers my understanding of my own reflection (3).  I do not feel that my cycle is complete and this is what is holding me back.  Although we all in engage in each stage of the learning cycle I feel with more in depth reflection I can build on my journey through the process.  At the point of active experimentation (planning/trying out what I have learnt) I do this instinctively with out thinking through actions I could take to make it more beneficial.  I found it hard to place my point of entry but decided upon reflective observation (reviewing/reflecting on the experience) as this is where I feel my current practice starts.  I look to others and past experiences in order to move forward with tasks.  I took part in a training session once in which I was told you should always ask a customer 'what perfume have you used in the past?' rather than 'what perfume are you wearing now' or 'what perfume are you looking for in the future?' This is because people are comfortable talking about the past because they know what happened, the present is a little more hazy and the future is unknown so people shy away from it.  This relates to my thought processes and how I learn.

This links to Schon's theory of reflection-in-action.  My reflection happens in what he describes as on-action as for me it is easier to look back on the past rather than act in the present.  Kottcamp describes reflection-in-action:

'It is more difficult to achieve because the actor must simultaneously attend to performing the action and observe and analyse his or her action, as if from an external perspective.' (4)  

This is a skill I believe I have engaged in with performing and teaching but it feels more like an instinct than a reflection.  To me reflection means analysing what has happened in depth as it seems it did to Kottcamp too but maybe I need to trust myself more and accept that decisions I make when reflecting-in-action are just as valuable and important.  From analysing how Kottcamp might have come to the decision that reflection-on-action is harder is important to remember that I have instilled my own thoughts in my mind and sometimes they need to be analysed in order to open myself up to new ideas.  From looking at Howard Garners' theory I like to think I am a kinaesthetic learner because I find it hard to sit and study with books and my laptop.  I say that because I am an active person and it gives reasoning to why I struggle to study.  In reality I think I am a visual learner and I just need to get used to studying again.

This relates to the work of Jennifer Moon as she looked at ways to articulate our tacit knowledge - 'we know more than we can tell.' (5) I believe that sometimes we need to trust as tacit knowledge as does Twyla Tharp.

'The second time through, however, or trying to explain the steps, she will hesitate, second guess herself, question her muscles and forget.' (6)

But other times it is important to work through our tacit knowledge and that leads to journal writing.

'A journal is a friend that is always there and is always a comfort. In bad moments I write, and usually end up feeling better. It reflects back to me things that I can learn about my world and myself. It represents a private space in my life, a beautiful solitude, the moments before I go to sleep just to stop and note what 'there' is about the day or about my life at the time. I think that it has enabled me to feel deeper and more established as a person, more in control and more trusting of life.' (7)

I like this quote from Moon and have seen it ring true.  I have always engaged in journal writing but only when something different was going on in my life something I wanted to document and look back on.  Moon helps me realise that important things are happening to me everyday and by documenting them I am understanding my self and what is happening around me.  As I develop my professional practice my journal helps me understand how I can grow.  Writing has always helped me work through things and I wish I had thought of it in a professional capacity sooner.  Moon also inspired the idea that reflection does not have to be in written format and this something I have explored further releasing my creative side.

Boud comments that: 'Journals allow us to practice imaginary scenarios; ask 'What if?'' (1) This is an interesting theory for me that I plan to take forward as I spend a lot of my time looking back and thinking 'what if?' What if I could do this before hand and feel better about decisions that I make.

I have drawn from Dewey, Kolb, Schon and Moon alongside their critics to look outwardly at the practice of critical reflection.  This has enhanced my understanding and I have many techniques now on board that I will take forward.

Bibliography

(1) 'Promoting journal writing in adult education' (English and Gillen, 2001) David Boud
(2) Dewey, 1993
(3) Kolb learning cycle.
(4) Kottcamp, R.B. (1990). Means for facilitating reflection, Education and Urban Society, 22, 182-203.
(5) Polanyi, 1996
(6) Tharp and Reiter, 2006
(7)http://www.infed.org/research/keeping_a_journal.htm

Howard Gardner theory in practice

I was amazed when I saw Howard Gardner's theory of Visual, Auditory and Kinaesthetic learners first hand in my work place.  Whilst teaching one of the children ran up to me and said "Hollie, hollie look I found a new way to learn my lines for the show."  He presented me with this:

It is quite hard to see but he is clearly a visual learner.  He used his love of drawing to create images to help him remember his lines.  Then he could picture these images in his mind to help him remember what he had to say.  See if you can make sense of his drawings his lines were as follows:  "Good evening.  And you join us outside for a special report on the latest dancing craze sweeping the country.  Known as 'The Hercules Beat', it's finally prised the nation off their sofas and onto their dancing feet.  With me here are some of the young people who are the biggest fans of The Hercules Beat and it's inventor, Hercules."  My personal favourite is at the bottom of the page.  He explained that it is a picture of the UK with a man holding a broom to sweep it up for his line "sweeping the nation."

                                                     

Positive power of the internet!

In a previous blog I mentioned the positive power of the internet in relation to www.justgiving.com.  The recent very sad news about Claire Squires who passed away raising money for the Samaritans in the London Marathon highlights my endeavour to this website.  This website made it so easy for people to give to her cause.  Without the internet this amazing response would not have happened.  Her orginal £800 raised rose to £700,000!!

http://www.itv.com/news/update/2012-04-25/marathon-girls-family-amazed-by-donations/

Moving on and looking in aka 2d

So I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with things recently and I sort of lost sight of my direction on this course.  I am going to do my best to back on track and stay positive. 

From looking inward the first step to share is that this blog is no longer a book! I started with this idea as it gave me structure and focus but I have grown through the tasks to realise that this only put constrictions on what I felt I could share.  A blog is about writing what you think and feel and sharing ideas! Thoughts and feelings can not be broken down into chapters.  Thoughts and feelings do not have a beginning, middle and end - they are ongoing.  This is a big step for my development as my longing for structure has broken down to open up so many more possibilities.

Themes that have arisen in my blog and journal writing focus around my need to find a path in life, desire to make a difference, confidence and fear of regret.  By continuing to work on my journal and document how I feel day to day I am beginning to realise what works for me.  I know what thought processes I need to break, actions I need to implement and practice's I need to build on to develop my practice in all areas of my life.

I currently have three pathways that I are crossing and bumping into each other with a huge bang at times.  I have chosen to apply the following questions to each pathway in order to make my thoughts clear. I am working full-time in education recruitment within special educational needs division.  I am teaching performing arts on Saturdays.  I am pursuing a career as an actress when I can!

What in your daily practise gets you really enthusiastic to find out more about? Who do you admire who also works with what makes you enthusiastic?

AND - As I started to write I got a bit carried away and my enthusiasm and love merged together.  I think this demonstrates my passion in my work.  I don't think I could ever do a job that I didn't really care about.

What do you love about what you do? Who do you admire who also seems to love this or is an example of what you love?

Education recruitment: I am enthused when learning about the variety of special educational needs children are dealing with everyday.  I believe education is the key to freedom and luckily in the UK every one has a right to that.  I am interested in learning about the qualities I need to find in people to place the right people to help these amazing children who need a bit of extra help to succeed. I love the variety of my days and meeting so many new and interesting people.  It feels great when you find someone passionate and enthusiastic that you know will make a difference.  I love the variety of my days and meeting so many new and interesting people.  I am inspired by the work of the people I speak of - people who make a difference in their work everyday. Schools like www.mapledownschool.co.uk having amazing staff that I can be a part of placing in the right role.  I admire my boss for her knowledge and understanding of what is required and her work in the field. 
Teaching performing arts: I am generally enthusiastic about working with children.  Their innocence and imagination inspires me.  The positivity they omit is like my weekly happy pill.  Drama helps children find themselves and their creativity.  I am truly touched to be a part of seeing children grow in confidence and build on their communication skills that are ever so important in life.  I love being a part of making that difference no matter how small.  I feel really enthusiastic about working with vulnerable children to help maintain that innocence and happiness that I believe our early years should be filled with.  Visiting Africa was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I am inspired by the work of the people that make projects like that happen. http://www.gvi.co.uk/programs/volunteer-orphanage-south-africa I was asked to stay on the project for 6 months and help run it but I was not in a financial position to do so - I admire people who make this self-less commitment.  I admire people who set up projects such as http://www.kidsco.org.uk/  and people who give up their time to volunteer on projects like this.  I admire all the work and commitment that goes into events such as the recent http://www.sportrelief.com/#tab3 and every member of the British public that takes part in fund raising events.
Acting: I love the magic of theatre.  The escapism it provides, the stories it tells and the creativity that can be shared.  The thrill of performing on stage is indescribable and I am honoured to have had experience in this field.  That say you get the same adrenalin buzz performing on stage as you do jumping out of a plane - that's why it becomes addictive.  Being a part of taking people to a different place for a few hours is amazing and remains a dream to do what I love as a job.  I am enthusiastic about new theatre and children's theatre.  I like theatre that reaches out to non theatre goers and also work that has a message or moral to convey.  Theatre is such a powerful tool to convey thoughts and feelings.  I love children's theatre because it is a fun and exciting way to educate and entertain children - that is a million times better than a television screen.  I admire new writers like http://www.jasonrobertbrown.com/ and companies like http://www.oilycart.org.uk/ that make theatre accessible to many children with complex disabilities.

I think the following questions can apply to my life in general rather than the three paths as the confusion in my direction is the main thing that makes me angry, sad and confused.

What gets you angry or makes you sad? Who do you admire who shares your feelings or has found a way to work around the sadness or anger?

I find the stress and pressure of having lots to do quite hard to deal with.  My desire to achieve leaves me always feeling like I need to do more and sometimes I just need to do what is asked of me as I cause my own stress! I feel sad when I don't feel I am doing well and get really angry with myself when I waste time worrying about it.  I admire those who I work with who have learnt to manage their work into small chunks and work out what works for them to achieve their best.  I admire two friends in particular who have to deal with some very extreme personal things who have climbed out the other side as happy people.  It puts it all into perspective.  I admire my friends in the acting world who remain positive and keep pushing to achieve their dream in a world of judgement and rejection. 

What do you feel you don't understand? Who do you admire who doesn't seem to understand it or who has found a way of making not understanding it interesting or beautiful, or has asked the same questions as you?

There is lots of things I don't understand! I don't understand how people make huge decisions and commit to them wholly.  I don't understand how we choose the right path to take.  I don't understand the unfair nature of the performing industry.  I don't understand why I worry so much.  These are all very general and I don't think anyone could explain the answers to me.  We all just find our way and by working on my critical reflection I am learning to find mine.  But this is a continuous process and I need to remember that.

A line of enquiry I would like to look into relates to my enthusiasm regarding vulnerable children.

How can I use my skills and experience to make a career out of helping vulnerable children?

Hollie x

Writers block - stuck and struggling!

I feel really stuck with my studies at the moment.  I am finding it hard to find the time and the drive to get on with it.  I am determined to succeed on this course but to be honest I am struggling.  With so many other things going on when I have time I find myself doing anything but my studies.  In doing this I am making it feel like a burden that is always hanging over me.  It is time for me to deep breath, step back, and reflect in order to make a plan of action.  I want to get the most out of this course and make it work for me. So here is what I am struggling with:


Problem: Looking at other people's blogs and feeling my work is inadequate.  I think this says a lot about my professional confidence elsewhere as well.
Resolution:  I need to stop comparing myself to others in a negative way.  I need to remember there is no right or wrong answer and it is about what works for me and not other people.  I need to see the sharing aspect of this course as a positive element in order to grow.

Problem: Feeling that every blog I post needs to be related to a task and be perfectly written.
Resolution: I need to remember that I am not being assessed on my blogs and that it is a space for me to develop my professional practice.  A place to share and build ideas to further myself.

Problem: I spend to much time on each individual task and therefore get myself behind.  When I approach any challenge I like to feel that I have to explore every avenue and look into it in as much detail as I can.
Resolution:   I need to realise that this isn't possible.  There is so much information out there that I need to be able to select the information that is beneficial to me.  I think I also need to accept this is a constant learning process and in moving on from one task it does not mean that process ends it has only just begun.

Problem: Not working in a proper study space.  I sit on my bed with the TV or music on and a house full of distractions.  I have therefore begun to feel I need to put a big chunk of time aside in order to do my work which makes me avoid it.
Resolution: I need to go to a library or coffee shop or even just work at a desk.  In finding myself a work space I will get more done in a short amount of time. Then I will approach my work in a more positive way.

Problem:  I am finding it hard to keep a daily journal.  I am finding myself going back to write entries from two weeks ago when I can not remember how I felt or even what happened.  The only person I am lying to in doing this is myself.
Resolution: Remember the journal is for me no one else.  I have bought a little journal that goes in my handbag so I can write where ever I am and just write what is relevant to me.  I have been using an A4 book that I can only really keep at home and the space allows me to gabble and then feel like I do not want to write for the next week! This is a small adjustment but I think it will really help me.  I am also going to buy a sketch book and draw a reflective picture at the end of the week.  My pin board is still going to. 

It feels good to have done that simple exercise for myself and I feel ready to move on with a positive attitude.  I am the answer to all my own problems and I need to JUST DO IT. 

Regarding my journal writing I am not going to look back and catch up on days I have not written.  It is time to move forward.  The main thing I need to remember is that this course is about finding out what works for ME and there is not right or wrong answer in that!


Hollie xx