So it is time to reflect and digest - something I think I need to develop within my practice. The main things I have learnt about my learning in general are:
1. I always try to do more than is asked of me and this can lead me to loose track - I need to find more focus. Quality not quantity!
2. I spend to much time worrying about what other people will think of my work which causes me to waste time and stop learning altogether sometimes.
3. My thoughts and feelings in relation to my experiences are my learning and this can not be put into chapters like a book! I need to be flexible with my learning and not put so much pressure on myself.
4. I am a visual learner and I need to utilise this.
In light of these aspects I am going set myself a task and approach task 3d with an attitude to do my best to in force change. It will not be perfect my learning is developing not stopping. I am going to try to address only the most important issues to improve the quality of my writing. I am going to give myself an hour to complete it and I will force myself to stop when that hour is up just as an exercise! I will not worry about what I am writing just let it flow and I will do my best to incorporate so visuals as well! So here it goes:
1. Do some very specific ideas emerge about your networking and sources?
I think I have been a bit naive in relation to whole concept of networking. As fore mentioned I was told at performing arts college it was about mingling with the right people and working your way to the top. Obviously I knew this was not all there was to it but the negative relationship I built with the theory didn't really go away until now! I practice in networks every day and the reader opened my mind to so many different exploration avenues. I had never looked at networking in a psychological sense and this really helped me see how important it is to analyse how we operate within our networks and how they are benefiting us. I operate well within networks I feel comfortable in but I walk on egg shells in others to the point where I am getting nothing out of being a part of them. I used to associate the notion of working out how it benefits me as being a selfish act when in reality it is the complete opposite. If I don't actively engage in a network I am no benefit to the others involved not just myself. This is enlightening for me and the reader helped me get to that places. Regarding my sources I have come to realise it is again about realising what works for me and utilising that fully. When trying something new I need to persist with it for a while - if you don't give something a chance you will never know.
2. Does your engagement to date seem appropriate?
Hard question, I feel it is in some areas but not in others. As fore mentioned my engagement is great in networks I feel comfortable within, facebook, my teaching peers and friends. Saying that I can now see how I can utilise those networks more as well. I have a long way to go but this section of study has shed a new light and given me enthusiasm to make those changes. I would not describe my practice as limited but it is not focused yet either. I do believe I will get there though. I would describe my networking as sporadic and planned when in practice if that makes sense. I might not engage in a network for a while but when I do I really plan my participation and put a lot of time into it, this is an analogy for my learning too! I put a lot of planning time in but I still not feel I find that clarity. This is going to be something that will derive out of continuous practice.
3. Are your ideas, position or concerns shared by others within and or/beyond your professional area of work?
Yes I think they are! In relation to my work on BAPP the most comments I have received on a post is a blog in which I opened up about worrying about what others think or perceive of my work.
Writers block stuck and struggling! This demonstrates how others feel the same way and how it can hinder our engagement within our networks. In my many workplaces it is evident that experience provides confidence - I witness people thriving within a network as their confidence grows. I am the same and I think it is human nature but we need to remember we only get out what we put in. I can see people who are more active in their networks and have success because of it for example my best friend is always contacting new people in the performing world and really putting herself out there. She steps out of her comfort zone to create networks that will benefit her and she maintains her current networks with focus and planning - this is something I aspire to.
4. Does sharing ideas and communicating with others shift your thinking, planning or practice?
Everyday! I am easily influenced by thoughts and work of others and I do not think this is always a good thing, it isn't a bad thing either. In conversations with others I can work out thought processes and decide upon a next step no matter how small. If I operate alone I don't do that and I run myself into the ground with worry. I never saw my networks as a way to outsource this but of coarse they are. With my new found knowledge I can move forward with a clearer attitude and use my networks to help me. My thinking is my planning which leads to practice. They all interlinked and the starting point of my thoughts is ever changing and growing by taking in the world around me - sharing. The more I share the more I will grow and I see that now.
5. Does critical reflection help you decide what really matters and the actions to take?
It does now because I think I have developed a form of critical reflection that works for me rather than doing what is asked of me for the sake of it. I can see that looking outward is just as important as looking in. I have built the confidence to question the information out there and using what I think will help my practice develop rather than seeing knowledge as an untouchable higher power. Using that critical approach is much more beneficial than simply information gathering which I think I had a tendency to to before. I can still develop this further but I have good grounds and I am beginning to see just how crucial it is in helping working out what matters, solutions to problems that arise and how to hold on to ideas that emerge and put them into my practice.
6. To what extent do concepts and theories assist you in thinking about your professional networking in different ways?
I have always found concepts and theories a little intimidating but I have found them crucial to my development. In taking knowledge from those with more experience and applying it to my practice I am growing into a more developed practitioner. I see now that even if I do not agree with a concept or theory it is important to explore. Sometimes even more so as I find myself asking why I do not agree. The concepts and theories in the reader surrounding networking really openly my eyes to a new way of thinking. I had never thought of the concept as psychological and now I have a better understanding I want to try the theories out!
7. And do these different ways of thinking have some purpose for you?
Yes they do as they give me direction. I major thing I learnt throughout part 1 of the BAPP course is that you have to let go of direction. I have really struggled with this but it is something that I am continuing to work on. By taking on a different way of thinking I feel a new sense of direction and that excites me. These new concepts and theories have helped me to build a new enthusiasm to look at my practice further. Without looking outward we have nothing to further ourselves inwardly.
My time is up! So I finished my sentence and uploaded a stop sign picture but I did stop in the hour and I only have one more question to look at. Yey this is really good for me!
8. Are you left thinking differently prior to this part of the module? And if so, now?
Yes I do feel differently as fore mentioned I had a blurred view of the concept of networking and now I can see there is so much to explore. I used to feel quite negative about it but now I can see I am already a part of it and there is so many ways to enhance my practice through it, I feel very positive. I almost wish I had done part 3 of the module at the beginning to open my mind to the benefits of networking but then without part 1 I would not have a medium to be sharing these thoughts right now.
These are some images I found that I liked in relation to my journey so far:
There is always more than one direction. I don't have to choose the right way to go it will just happen this way or that! It has been a hard concept for me.
The spy penguin made me giggle and I also thought it is a bit like me trying out my new networking concepts and theories with others not knowing. A bit of fun before the serious writing begins!
